第五十通 自語蟲

Pick up a brochure about the sun
Learn to ignore what the photographer saw
I was always told that you should join a club
stick with the gang if you want to belong

I was a lonely boy, no strength, no joy
in a world of my own at the back of the garden
I didn't want to compete or play out on the street
for in a secret life I was a Roundhead general

I was faced with a choice at a difficult age
Would I write a book? Or should I take to the stage?
But in the back of my head I heard distant feet
Che Guevara and Debussy to a disco beat

Out of bed at half past ten
the party animal phones a friend
Picks up news about the sun
and the working day has just begun
Sticks with the gang at the back of the street
Pass the test and he don't compete
Drive the car, if you're with me
Che Guevara's drinking tea
He reads about a new device
and takes to the stage in a secret life

Pet Shop Boys - Left to my own devices

*****

最近在讀賈平凹，比讀余華有更深層次的不安。
他倆的文字像一柄菜刀: 余華是刀鋒, 被他很快速的劃一下, 傷口是註定會有的, 幸運的話會瞬間止住了血, 過後你會記下那傷, 卻忘記了痛; 賈平凹是刀柄, 被他桶一下, 感覺是鈍鈍的痛, 始初的時侯好像沒什麼, 慢慢才領略到那持久的痛, 瘀一片是你走運, 最怕那是內傷。

無論如何, 身為香港人本蟲可說是 no complain。 即使 left to my own devices, 也是自由的。 有一些人的經歷, 如果只用可悲去形容, 實在是太冷漠了。

*****

Dreaming of the Queen
visiting for tea
You and her and I
and Lady Di

The Queen said: 'I'm aghast
Love never seems to last
however hard you try'
And Di replied that

'There are no more lovers left alive
No one has survived
so there are no more lovers left alive
and that's why love has died
Yes, it's true
Look, it's happened to me and you'

Pet Shop Boys - Dreaming of the Queen